Captain Shannon Forney knows about loss. She knows about grief. And she knows about finding some peace once again.
The fourth-generation Salvationist and associate corps officer at the St. Louis., Mo., Gateway Citadel Corps lost both of her parents, Majors Jerold and Carol Forney, in the span of five months. Major Jerold passed away in August 2022. Major Carol died in January 2023.
“My father was a big personality. He was loud and he would work the crowd. He loved to talk to people and was always cracking jokes,” Captain Shannon recalled. “Mom was the opposite of my father. She was very set and intentional. She was behind-the-scenes, and she was OK with that.”
Major Carol also had what Captain Shannon calls a “card ministry.”
“She loved sending cards to people—for birthdays, for getting-well, holidays—and she loved receiving cards. She instilled that in my brothers and me; always send a card. Something so small can mean so much,” the captain said.
The captain has been stationed in the Midland Division for eight years, beginning in Chillicothe, Mo., then being appointed to Granite City, which was closer to her parents. She was appointed to St. Louis in June 2022.
With her two brothers both living out of state, Captain Shannon shouldered most of her parents’ care and helped whenever she could as she ministered at the corps. After her father died, she spent weekends with her mother, taking her to medical appointments, preparing meals, doing laundry and
more.
“You learn along the way, being a caregiver. You do what you can for the people you love,” she said.
She was with her mother when Major Carol passed. It happened quickly and was unexpected.
“I stayed home for a week,” the captain recalled. “I did not answer the phone. I had to process my grief and communicate with my brothers.”
She tried to return to her work at the corps, but realized she was not emotionally ready.
“God bless my corps family for being patient with me. I had spent so much time taking care of my parents, I had neglected to take care of myself.”
She took an approved month-long leave of absence.
“My [associate] corps officers said, ‘Take this time. You have our blessing and support,’” she recalled.
Her leave of absence was filled with therapy, rest, talking with family members, reading books and sitting outside in the sunshine. She also began to take care of her own health, seeing doctors about issues she had ignored for years.
She headed back to her corps with some sense of peace returning to her life.
“Although I am still grieving, I am coming back with a completely different attitude,” Captain Shannon said.
The captain has been able to use her own experience with loss to help others at her corps with their own grief. Recently, several corps members passed away, including a single mother of two teens.
“Everyone experiences grief in different ways,” Captain Shannon said. “As I still go through it, I can talk with those who have experienced loss and say, ‘I get it.’ Just being there with them is a ministry of presence. There is a comfort to be with someone who has walked through it before.”
She concluded, “Experiences we think are the worst thing ever—God takes those and uses them to help someone else. I have to remember that, and let God work through me.”
