by Peggy McGee, Assistant Territorial Youth Secretary
Many of us have read the story in Matthew 19 where parents brought their children to be blessed by Jesus and His disciples tried to turn them away. Jesus responds, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children,” (Matthew 19:14, NLT). I often wonder what those kids felt when, in a moment, they went from being rejected to welcomed. How did Jesus valuing them shape how they saw themselves?
Research reinforces the importance of prioritizing youth, reporting that young people develop better outcomes across academic, psychological, social-emotional and behavioral domains when they experience developmental relationships with important adults in their lives (Search Institute). Simply put, the future is brighter when young people feel valued by adults.
So, for those of us who are grownups, how can we communicate to youth that we value them? It can be done in three practical experiences every young person needs: feeling noticed, feeling named, feeling known. These experiences build on each other to establish a sense of value and belonging (Springtide).
Feeling Noticed
Noticing takes effort. It requires shifting your attention beyond your focus to the young people around you. However, it needs to extend beyond just noticing their existence. It involves seeing where they gather, who they are hanging out with, what makes them laugh, etc. It also can mean seeing where they intersect with your daily activities. This can be the initial step in shifting to a youth priority.
Feeling Named
A person’s name is attached to their identity. When we use a young person’s name it can build an immediate connection, showing the young person in your life in a basic, yet powerful, way they matter. While a name is important, it is only part of a person’s identity. Being able to name their interests, passions and hobbies continues to strengthen your connection with them.
Feeling Known
It is a process to become known, but it deepens a person’s sense of value when they feel truly safe in a relationship or community. We prioritize youth when we create safe spaces for them to show up authentically, where they can talk about what really matters to them.
The youth priority is emphasized through relationships, not programs. It’s in the moments we show God’s love to young people in practical ways of noticing, naming and knowing. It’s when we welcome young people into the center of the ministry to meet Jesus.
Resources:
Belonging: Reconnecting America’s Loneliest Generation
(www.springtideresearch.org)
“The Elements of Developmental Relationships: A Review of Selected Research Underlying the Framework”
(www.searchinstitute.org, Click on research in menu bar, then publications, then type title in search bar)